To Buddy or Not to Buddy

I wasn't really sure what I was going to talk about today...have so many thoughts going through my head and I am hardly proficent in answers to the many things I struggle with.  I worked out last night.  Called my running/workout partner and said it was too cold for me outside (in my defense 10 or below with windchill factor).  We met at the Y and I wanted to calibrate the foot pad on my foreunner (Garmin).  So...I ran a mile by myself (with out friend and without ipod).  However, the indoor 1/10th mile track had many walkers and a few runners so I was nowhere near alone, but alone in my thoughts.  Although i still hate that I sound like a pained panting mutt when I run, maybe I do better running alone.  I find that I like to have my friend with me...but not "with" me.  I like the alone time in my head and I don't like to talk at all when I run.  I do however, need someone to meet me and make sure I get moving.  After calibrating the footpod, I went to the cardiio room and did a 45 min of hill climbing on the bike.  How I miss biking and cannot wait until I get the road bike out again.  This on the other hand, is a much more social activity for me and I find myself actively engaging in my environment and actually making eye contact with others while I do this.  After this I spent 10 in on treadmill walking at a huge incline.  I still feel very awkward on a treadmill without holding on somewhere, even at a 13 elevation at 2.5 MPH.  Finally to finish the workout...I decided to give those elliptical contraptions a try.  I have seen "bigger" girls get on this and make it look like a breeze so it coudn't possible be that hard, right?  WRONG!  5 min had my legs burning so bad they were shaking...This may take some building up to get some serious time on this thing. 

I am working on getting my head together...I am really struggling with this.  Usually this lasts a week or so, but for several months I have really been beating myself up.  The best thing I can think of to do is keep moving and concntrate on where I have come from and where I am going to.  Progressing FORWARD!  Fat girl thinking (PTP) needs to be quieted if not obliterated.  Caloriecountabout.com is under full usage by me again.  This tool helps keep me in touch with reality intake wise. 

On a lighter note....anyone watching this season's biggest loser?  I don't uaully get into reality shows, but I have gotten into this one.  There are a few people that are really sandbagging on there and it makes me sad for the people that really could use the life changing experience to improve their lives.  Spending a month with Jillian and Bob would probably do a lot for self esteem and neg self talk.  Would love to have a month with them.

Late night of working for me...13 hour day and an early doctors meeting tomorrow morning.  We lost a pup last week in an auto accident and I'm in contact with the lab rescue that we got him from and have a prspect to look at.  She's a 2 year old chocolate lab...2 year old could run with me where as a pup would take 1 year or more to be mature enough to run.  I am hoping hubby is interested in the very cute pics sent to me and we stop and take a peak at her on Friday! 

Feel free to post at will....I love to hear from you all!

Stephanie

Bad Running Night

hmmmm....don't know how the rest of you are doing, but I was on fire for a bit then crashed.  This was for several reasons...hormonal (you girls know what I mean) and ticked off at my husband for 3 days which lead to emotional eating and what I like to call the "martyr" syndrome.  Ick...I hate when I get like that.  Back on track but a bit of the wind knocked out of my sails...Until I saw the money up for grabs (what a total) and after I watch the Biggest Loser last night and had to thank God for my health and blessings.  Those people are kicking butt (with Bob and Jillian of course) and I am whining about how hard of a time I had running last night! 

I just read a post from another blog I read (Phit-N-Phat) and today she posted about "Fat Girl Thinking".  I'ts time to put on the skinny girl (big girl panties) and start beating up this fat girl thinking in my head.  Do any of you struggle with this?  If so....post comments of what you struggle with and what you do or need from us to deal with it.

Also....do you get in the middle of a workout and your brain is just screaming at your body with negative thoughts of failure or "i can't do this"....if so, how do you get past this?  Post your ideas and experiences.  Trust me....I believe we all have them!

Stephanie

The ever growing "Biggest Loser" competition begins!

All right...I have no idea how many people we have in this grass roots biggest loser like competition but I am excited to tell you all...I INTEND TO WIN THE CASH!!!! 

I have told Diana U. that I would like to open up this blog for all participants to communicate, support each other, friendly competative bashing, tips, problem solving, making run dates, whatever the heck you want to use it for.   Diana is supposed to be getting me a list of participants and their email addys so I can give all permission to post.  Please feel free to use this site. I will monitor for content and appropriateness and delete any posts that are hurtful or that cut people down.  This site is intended as a place to GET REAL with yourself, your health, your relationships and your God.  I personally cannot fathom taking any of these challenges on with out the relationship I have with my God and Savior.

At this point and time...we are (I believe) one week into the "challenge".  I am happy to report a 4.2 pound weight loss.  I have consistantly used caloriecount.about.com to log my calorie intake and my activity log.  This accountability has been really good for me.  I love this site and encourage you all to use it.  I was even able to put in the ingredients to a dish I made tonight and it spit out calorie count and food analysis information.  INCREDIBLE!

I have been doing cardio 2 times per week and trying to do some form of running 3 times per week.  I completed a run at the Y this weekend, an interval run of 8 min run/1 min walk cycles X 6.  This was the second time of this interval (did it earlier in the week also) and felt pretty good...but my breathing SUCKS!  I sound like I am dying!  Even my running partner gets nervous running with me sometimes.  I finally had to get out the ipod so I can't hear myself gasping!  I am hoping that continued efforts will decrease my respiratory problems, continue training....the breathing will come around.   That...and I am using inhalers also.

Plans this year so far....3 half marathons (Flying Pig, Air Force and Indinapolis) and TOSRV bike ride, several century rides, and of course doing the Strawberry Festival with my friend, Nathan.  (gotta start putting this stuff on a calendar to make sure I am not double booking).

I am logging off for now....planning for the upcoming week!
Blessings to all!

SHouse