Wednesday, January 27, 2010

To Buddy or Not to Buddy

I wasn't really sure what I was going to talk about today...have so many thoughts going through my head and I am hardly proficent in answers to the many things I struggle with.  I worked out last night.  Called my running/workout partner and said it was too cold for me outside (in my defense 10 or below with windchill factor).  We met at the Y and I wanted to calibrate the foot pad on my foreunner (Garmin).  So...I ran a mile by myself (with out friend and without ipod).  However, the indoor 1/10th mile track had many walkers and a few runners so I was nowhere near alone, but alone in my thoughts.  Although i still hate that I sound like a pained panting mutt when I run, maybe I do better running alone.  I find that I like to have my friend with me...but not "with" me.  I like the alone time in my head and I don't like to talk at all when I run.  I do however, need someone to meet me and make sure I get moving.  After calibrating the footpod, I went to the cardiio room and did a 45 min of hill climbing on the bike.  How I miss biking and cannot wait until I get the road bike out again.  This on the other hand, is a much more social activity for me and I find myself actively engaging in my environment and actually making eye contact with others while I do this.  After this I spent 10 in on treadmill walking at a huge incline.  I still feel very awkward on a treadmill without holding on somewhere, even at a 13 elevation at 2.5 MPH.  Finally to finish the workout...I decided to give those elliptical contraptions a try.  I have seen "bigger" girls get on this and make it look like a breeze so it coudn't possible be that hard, right?  WRONG!  5 min had my legs burning so bad they were shaking...This may take some building up to get some serious time on this thing. 

I am working on getting my head together...I am really struggling with this.  Usually this lasts a week or so, but for several months I have really been beating myself up.  The best thing I can think of to do is keep moving and concntrate on where I have come from and where I am going to.  Progressing FORWARD!  Fat girl thinking (PTP) needs to be quieted if not obliterated. is under full usage by me again.  This tool helps keep me in touch with reality intake wise. 

On a lighter note....anyone watching this season's biggest loser?  I don't uaully get into reality shows, but I have gotten into this one.  There are a few people that are really sandbagging on there and it makes me sad for the people that really could use the life changing experience to improve their lives.  Spending a month with Jillian and Bob would probably do a lot for self esteem and neg self talk.  Would love to have a month with them.

Late night of working for me...13 hour day and an early doctors meeting tomorrow morning.  We lost a pup last week in an auto accident and I'm in contact with the lab rescue that we got him from and have a prspect to look at.  She's a 2 year old chocolate lab...2 year old could run with me where as a pup would take 1 year or more to be mature enough to run.  I am hoping hubby is interested in the very cute pics sent to me and we stop and take a peak at her on Friday! 

Feel free to post at will....I love to hear from you all!



Anonymous said...

Hey! I've fallen off the eating right wagon in the last 2 weeks. Gotta get back on ASAP. Anyway, keep up the working, girl! On the foot pod - don't calibrate on the running track at the Y. You need to run about 12 laps to get 1 mile, even tho it says 10 laps. The better thing is to go to a hi school track and do it there (it's a known distance). I think the online instructions at Garmin suggest this, but I can't remember. Keep up the blogging!


Shelley Miller said...

I have been hearing a lot of debate resently about running with or without a partner and I have something to add to that debate. I have an awesome group of women that I have been running with now for almost a year and we are all getting to that point where we are getting very different speeds and even goals. I think that the accountability is awesome, like you said Stephanie, with regards to meeting someone to run. However, you need to be upfront with your partner about what you want when you run. My one friend doesn't always need,or want to talk while another friend needs to talk the whole time to keep motivated and the encouragement going. If you need to zone out and run then say to your partner ahead of time, I am going to go into the zone and I will talk after we run or later. I think the partner will understand because I think everyone needs that from time to time. I think the guilt we feel or anxiety we get is when we run with a partner we are not honest with what we want out of the run or partnership. I don't ever want to hold anyone back and I also don't ever want to not help a friend in need, but sometimes you get to that point where you have to say, OK FRIEND, YOU CAN DO THIS AND I DON'T NEED TO HOLD YOUR HAND ANYMORE! Sometimes that is encouragement in it's own right when you give the friend the opportunity to prove to themselves that they can do it on their own. Because lets face it in the end we are only responsible for ourselves and it's up to us to get ourself out of bed every morning.
So just like in every type of relationship communication and honesty works best. If your friend cannot accept your way you choose; then find someone who will. Even if that someone is your own self. Remember we are all strong, independant females and we ARE BRAVE, and we are STRONG, and we can DO ANYTHING we set our mind to.
I love all my running partners and get such different things from each of them that I wouldn't trade them for the world, but sometimes one person or two or three just can't give me what I need, I have to do that on my own. I know the girls are never as proud of me as when I accomplish something on my own. It's great to do it with help and someone there all the time, but recently I am learning that right now, my greatest satisfaction is the freedom to do it on my own. I think that is also something that I couldn't have done a year ago. We have all worked so hard for a while now, that without the support I wouldn't even be able to fathom doing my two miles on the treadmill that I can do now by myself. But I know it is because of the support I have been given that I am ready and able to do so now.
(But it is still WAY MORE FUN when we all get together, than when I am by myself, just not always as satisfying to me personally)

Anonymous said...

Where are you?????